05/24/2026
At Family Asian Market, we don’t just sell Asian groceries… apparently we also operate an unofficial “free-range dog petting zoo.”
Meet our two store supervisors:
One black-and-white security officer (his name is Bubuy) and one caramel-colored customer relations manager (her name is Boba). Their qualifications include sleeping on the job, accepting belly rubs from strangers, and inspecting every customer for possible snack donations.
Sometimes they roam around the store like they own the place (which, honestly, they believe they do). Customers often stop shopping halfway through the soy sauce aisle because suddenly there’s a friendly dog asking for emotional support and head scratches.
The problem is… they are TOO friendly.
If a random person walked in and said, “Hey buddy, want to go home with me?” these two would probably say:
“Absolutely. Do you also have treats and air conditioning?”
Their anti-theft training has completely failed because instead of barking at strangers, they es**rt strangers around the store like tiny furry tour guides. One of them would probably help carry the groceries to the car if they had thumbs.
We keep telling them:
“You are supposed to GUARD the store.”
But their idea of security is:
• Wag tail aggressively
• Demand pets
• Fall asleep in public
• Accept kidnapping offers from anyone holding hotdogs
At this point, if they ever disappear, we know it won’t be because they were stolen. It’ll be because they voluntarily joined another family after receiving one chicken nugget and hearing the words:
“Who’s a good dog?”
Thankfully, despite their lack of professional security skills, they’ve become part of the charm of Family Asian Market. Customers come for the pancit canton… and stay for the surprise dog encounter.