Lantern & Flock

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Lantern & Flock Paramedic hoping to trade sirens for sunflowers.

Follow along as I trade chaos for chickens and attempt to turn a wild dream into a regenerative homestead and market farm from the ground up—one lesson, one mistake, and one harvest at a time.

Maggie and June Bug would like to report a workplace accident.Apparently, they knocked over the metal hay feeder…ON TOP ...
08/09/2026

Maggie and June Bug would like to report a workplace accident.

Apparently, they knocked over the metal hay feeder…

ON TOP OF THEMSELVES.

Then sat there trapped inside it, waiting for management to respond. 😂

No injuries. No lessons learned. Zero accountability.

Just two goats staring at me like:

“Mother. The hay feeder attacked us.”

Ma’am.

YOU knocked it over.

At Lantern & Flock, no one is safe.

Not from predators.
Not from rain storms.
And apparently not from the goats’ own furniture.

23/08/2026

An experiment in first-year farming: 😂🌱

Patch #1: Plant first. Clear later.

Patch #2: Clear first. Plant later.

My hypothesis?

I’m about to learn something I probably should’ve Googled beforehand. 😂

For science. 🎃🍉

“Things I Probably Should’ve Done BEFORE I Planted.” 😂🌱When I planted this first vine patch back in July, I was apparent...
23/08/2026

“Things I Probably Should’ve Done BEFORE I Planted.” 😂🌱

When I planted this first vine patch back in July, I was apparently operating under the agricultural philosophy of DIG HOLE. INSERT SEED. FIGURE OUT THE REST LATER.

The Small Sugar pumpkins went into the ground on July 12, followed by my Heart of Gold cantaloupes and watermelons that same summer planting stretch. And grow they did. The watermelon especially has apparently decided it owns the place now. 🎃🍉

Unfortunately, so did everything else.

I didn’t clear this area before planting. I simply made my mounds right in the middle of the existing grass and w**ds and planted into them. At the time, this seemed perfectly reasonable.

Past me has created several jobs for Present me.

So today began Operation Reclaim the Vine Patch.

After about an hour and a half of w**d-whacking, hand-w**ding, collecting pine straw, crawling around in the dirt and questioning some of my earlier life choices, I managed to completely renovate…

TWO MOUNDS.

Two.

At this rate, the pumpkins may be pies before I finish their neighborhood. 😂

But those two mounds got the full treatment. I cleared the vegetation around them, laid cardboard around the plants to smother the grass and w**ds, added a very light layer of compost and organic soil over the cardboard and refreshed the mound itself, then topped everything with pine straw collected from elsewhere on the property.

Basically: cardboard → compost/soil → pine straw.

The cardboard blocks light and suppresses the w**ds underneath while eventually breaking down. The compost and soil help hold everything in place and add organic matter, and the pine straw gives me another layer of w**d suppression while helping protect the soil from our Georgia heat and conserve moisture.

And all of it was done mostly with materials already here on the property.

The funniest part is that Vine Patch #2 is going to be an entirely different experience because I have apparently evolved as a farmer in the approximately five minutes since creating this one.

When we rented the skid steer to level the ground around the new barn site, we cleared the second vine area BEFORE planting anything.

Imagine that.

Site preparation BEFORE planting.

Groundbreaking agricultural discovery. 😂

So Vine Patch #1 is becoming my living demonstration of “plant first, suffer later,” while Vine Patch #2 will test the considerably more advanced technique of “maybe prepare the ground first.”

Either way, the vines are growing, the w**ds are losing territory, and two little patches of chaos now actually look intentional.

Only about eleventy-seven more hours to go. 🌱🎃🍉

umpkin Battle Dome. 🌱⚔️🎃Five seedlings enter.Only one can remain. Farming is a brutal industry. Today is thinning day, w...
31/07/2026

umpkin Battle Dome. 🌱⚔️🎃

Five seedlings enter.

Only one can remain.

Farming is a brutal industry. Today is thinning day, where I must decide who gets promoted… and who gets composted.

Every mound sprouted five healthy seedlings, but only one gets the honor of becoming a pumpkin-producing superstar. It’s survival of the fittest.

As for the rest? Thank you for your service. 🫡

It’s brutal.

It’s efficient.

It’s Pumpkin Battle Dome. RIP🎃

22/07/2026

My goats are defective!

They insist they want to browse. I open the buffet. Then they notice the chickens…

…who are safely locked behind a fence.

Suddenly everyone freezes like the murder birds are planning a prison break.

Apparently my brush-clearing crew now requires emotional support before they’ll eat free food.

This place is absolute chaos, and I love every minute of it. 😂🐐🐔

Five days. Seven trees. Countless wheelbarrows. Very stubborn Georgia clay. 🌱People often picture homesteading as peacef...
12/07/2026

Five days. Seven trees. Countless wheelbarrows. Very stubborn Georgia clay. 🌱

People often picture homesteading as peaceful gardens and pretty sunsets. Those moments absolutely exist—but first comes the work.

This week at Lantern & Flock, we planted the first four trees in what will become our citrus orchard, along with three Ice Cream banana trees. Each hole was dug through dense Georgia clay with a pickaxe, then excavated nearly twice as deep as a typical planting hole.

Why?

Because our goal isn’t simply to plant trees. It’s to build healthy soil that will support them for decades.

Rather than leaving the roots trapped in hard, compacted clay, we blended the native soil with compost and organic in-ground garden soil. The native soil stays part of the equation—because we want the roots to gradually adapt to the land they’ll spend their lives in—but now they have a living, biologically active environment that encourages deeper rooting, better drainage, and stronger long-term growth.

Nothing on this property goes to waste if it can serve another purpose.

The extra soil from every planting hole was hauled, wheelbarrow by wheelbarrow, across the property to begin leveling the future barn site. Every load moved us one step closer to a home for the animals while making good use of a resource we already had.

The existing pine straw that once covered other areas of the property is getting a second life as well. Instead of buying new mulch, we’re reusing what’s already here to blanket the bases of each tree, helping conserve moisture, moderate soil temperatures, feed the soil as it breaks down, and protect young roots from the relentless Georgia summer sun.

That’s what regenerative stewardship looks like to us.

It’s not about perfection. It’s about working with the land instead of against it. Every shovel of compost, every wheelbarrow of soil, every handful of reused pine straw is a small investment in a healthier ecosystem for years to come.

Five days of work in heat and humidity that could probably steam vegetables on their own. 😅

The orchard has officially begun, the bananas are settling into their new home, and the foundation for Lantern & Flock is growing one tree, one wheelbarrow, and one intentional decision at a time.

This is just the beginning. 🌿

Some evenings don’t need a filter or a long story. Just a rainbow over the Fold & Flock barn and a reminder that good th...
07/07/2026

Some evenings don’t need a filter or a long story. Just a rainbow over the Fold & Flock barn and a reminder that good things take root one day at a time.

Operation: Win Over the ChickensIn between unpacking boxes, cleaning the new house, and trying to remember which box con...
25/06/2026

Operation: Win Over the Chickens

In between unpacking boxes, cleaning the new house, and trying to remember which box contains literally anything important, I learned something new today:

Chickens like watermelon.

In what can only be described as a strategic peace offering, I presented my feathered overlords with a fresh watermelon buffet in hopes of gaining their affection, earning their trust, and perhaps negotiating a formal non-aggression treaty.

The results remain inconclusive.

The Barred Rocks approached with the confidence of loan sharks arriving to collect a debt. The Easter Eggers stared at me suspiciously before deciding the watermelon was acceptable… for now. The goats quickly joined the festivities because apparently no snack can be enjoyed without a committee meeting.

With temperatures soaring, everyone seemed grateful for the cold treat. Watermelon juice was flying, tails were wagging, and beaks were pecking. I gonna take this as a win.

As for me, I spent the afternoon standing in the Georgia heat watching livestock eat fruit and somehow considered it a productive use of my time.

A month ago I was coordinating emergency calls and living among moving traffic, sirens, and chaos.

Today I’m bribing chickens with watermelon while unpacking boxes, wondering all the while, if I am a farmer yet. 🤣🤣🤣

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