04/13/2020
Yesterday, I burned myself on the cooker.
I shouted “ouch!”
My daughter ran over, and upon realising what had happened, she said “don’t worry! Have b***y with me! Make it better!”
She’s been feeding more than ever whilst in isolation.
I’ve been putting it down to her boredom.
But after the comment she made yesterday, I couldnt help but wonder if there’s a little more to it.
I’m anxious. I’m on edge.
The uncertainty is making me snappy.
And she is often on the receiving end of that.
In the same way that breastfeeding placates her tantrums, perhaps SHE is using it to placate mine.
Perhaps SHE is using breastfeeding to calm me.
To get me to sit quietly. To get me to keep cool.
To allow me to gather my thoughts.
Perhaps SHE is JUST breastfeeding for MY comfort.
People always describe breastfeeding as sucking the life out of the mother. Taking out of her all that she has. Her sleep. Her social life. Her body.
And it can sometimes feel like that.
But it is meant to be a symbiotic relationship.
For both mother and child.
Whilst we sit in that protective bubble, with me feeling relaxed that she is calm.
Sighing a little breath of relief.
Maybe she is feeling the same as I.
That in these moments, she has made me calm.
She has managed to get me to sit still.
Maybe the constant feeding in this difficult time, serves a far greater purpose for mother’s, as well.
