02/07/2025
🐑 The Ewe Code Of Honor 🐑
The ewe's secret code of honor is as old as sheep themselves and is ultimately the species best kept secret. No ewe shall ever lamb before her time. The time is determined by the following factors-
1. No lamb shall ever be born until total chaos has been reached by all involved. Your owner's house must be a wreck, their family hungry and desperate for clean clothes, and their social life is non-existent.
2. "Midwives" must reach their babbling fool status before you lamb. Bloodshot eyes, tangled hair, and the inability to form a sentence means the time is getting close.
3. For every bell, beeper, camera, or whistle they attach to you, lambing must be delayed by at least one day for each item. If they use an audio monitor, one good yell per hour will keep things interesting.
4. If you hear the words "She's nowhere near ready, she'll be fine while we're away for the weekend," wait until they load the car then begin pushing.
5. Owner's stress must be at an all time high! If you are in the care of someone else, ten to fifteen calls a day is a sign your getting close.
6. When you hear the words, "I can't take this anymore!" wait at least three more days.
7. You must keep this waiting game interesting. False alarms are mandatory! Little teasers such as looking at your stomach, pushing your food around in the bucket and then walking away from it and nesting are always good for a rise. Be creative and find new things to do to keep the adrenaline pumping in those who wait.
8. The honor of all sheep is now in your hands. Use this time to avenge all of your barn mates. Think about your friend who had to wear that silly costume in front of all those people. Hang onto that baby for another day. OH, they made him do tricks too! Three more days seems fair. Late feedings, the dreaded diet, bad hair cuts, those awful wormings can also be avenged at this time.
9. If you have fulfilled all of the above and are still not sure when to have the lambs, listen to the weather forecast on the radio that has been so generously provided by those who wait. Severe storm warning is what your waiting for. In the heart of the storm, jump into action! The power could go out and you could have the last laugh. You have a good chance of those who wait to to miss the whole thing while searching for a flashlight that works!
10. Make the most of your interrupted nights. Beg for food each time someone comes into the barn to check on you. Your barn mates will love you as the extra goodies fall their way too.
Remember, this code of honor was designed to remind man of how truly special sheep are. Do your best to reward those who wait with a beautiful ewe lamb to carry on the Ewe Code of Honor for the next generation of those who wait.
-Author Unknown (and I modified it from goats to sheep)
