12/23/2023
Here's a fun little Christmas parody mom and I wrote mom and I wrote together with a goaty twist.
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the farm
Not a creature was stirring not one in the barn
The feed buckets were hung on the wall with care
In the hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there
The doelings were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of animal crackers danced in their heads.
The does in their shed bellies full of hay
Had just settled down to snooze the winter away
When out in the fields there arose such a clatter
They sprang from their beds to see what was the matter
Away to the door they flew with a flash
Tore out the gate and up the lane with a mad dash
The full moon on the back of each doe
Filled them with a lunacy to attack another doe
When what to their glaring eyes should appear
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer
With a little old driver so lively and quick
They must not have known that he was St. Nick
For as one they gave a loud crazy bleat
And on those poor reindeer they began to beat
On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen
On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of those reindeer heads, without a second thought
They bashed and they smashed in a fierce onslaught
The panic struck reindeer were trembling with fear
As they struggled and tangled and fell on their rears
So all tangled in harness the coursers they lay still
The does turned towards the sleigh and St. Nicholas felt a chill
And then in a twinkling, the herd queen was up on the sleigh
Which caused santa to leap up with great alarm and dismay
With a butt from her head our queen made St Nick tumble
Down from the sleigh he fell with a loud rumble
He hit the ground with a resounding thud
His clothes were soon all tarnished with hoof prints and mud
The toys in his pack were strewn all around
And trampled into the muddy ground
His eyes, lost their twinkle, his dimples are wrinkly
His cheeks look like liver, his nose was all crinkly
His droll little mouth was now in a frown
And the beard on his chin was all icky and brown
The stump of his pipe, was shoved to the back of his throat
By one extra mean little goat
They bounced on his little round belly
Which shook under their weight and turned into a bowl full of jelly
He was chubby and plump, a right grumpy old elf
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself
A flash from his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had something to dread
He spoke not a word but stomped to his sled
While grumbling expletives and shaking his head
And laying a finger to the side of his nose
All dirty, disheveled, disgruntled he rose
He collapsed in his sleigh, begging his team to wisk him away
All bruised and tangled they couldn’t obey
And I heard him exclaim as he realized his plight
"This really has turned into a terrible night"
