12/31/2017
AS OF JANUARY 1, 2018, SWEETCAKES BY AMY WILL NO LONGER BE IN BUSINESS. IF YOU WOULD LIKE MORE INFO, PLEASE READ BELOW.
Dear customers, friends, and supporters,
In 2008, my new year’s resolution was to see if I could sell a cupcake. Later that year I noticed a sign for a bake sale, so I called and asked if I could join. I think I sold about 30 cupcakes that day, and I was thrilled! From then on, even without advertising, people started calling for orders, each cupcake sale got bigger, my array of flavors got wider, I branched out into making cakes, and my little side business took off.
While my cupcake business grew, many other major things happened in my life, including marriage, two children, a full-time career change, and most recently, a brutal experience with a rare cancer. With each change, cupcakes stayed constant – something that relieved stress, brought joy to myself and others, and – very importantly - helped pay the bills!
The cupcakes stayed constant with each change, that is, except for the cancer that was diagnosed in July 2016. I’ll spare you the gory details of that ordeal, but the entire time I was sick, I anticipated the day I could return to my sweet hobby. On days when I did not even have the strength to sit upright, I would yearn for standing at my kitchen counter mixing up concoctions and serving them to people I loved. People would inquire when I would be back in business again, and I’d always tell them as soon as possible! I really thought I’d jump back into business in the summer of 2017 (thought I'd be fully recovered by then!). I knew that when I could bake again, things would finally be back to normal.
Ironically, as I was recovering from cancer and began to bake again, nothing about it felt normal. The aggressive chemo and knee/femur replacement have had lasting side effects, just a few of which are numbness and tingling in my hands, legs, and feet, along with loss of balance and strength. I used to be able to stay up late into the night to finish an order, but my body now requires much more sleep than it did previously. These physical changes have made baking quite the challenge, and the activity that I loved for many years has become a time-intensive and painful process.
Aside from the physical differences, there are emotional and cognitive changes as well. I struggle with time management and some short-term memory issues now. I don’t remember details of an order and have to refer to my notes multiple times – and then I am hyper-worried about messing things up. I’ve never been competitive with my baking, and so many other local cupcake shops have popped up since I started that I just think, “Oh well, they can have my business!” My patience seems to somehow have shrunken, so when my hand cramps up from spreading frosting on a cake, my emotions overwhelm me and frustration sets in. Rather than serving as a stress-reliever, baking now seems to be a stress-generator.
Finally, there are spiritual changes. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow, and I have always been aware of that. But facing death head on awakened in me a desire to use every single hour I have in a purposeful way. If I am gone tomorrow, I don’t want to have any regrets about how I spent today. What do I want people to remember about me? What legacy do I want to leave for my daughters? What is the best way I can spend the limited time I have left on earth?
For me, this means investing directly in my children and family rather than in cupcakes. Don’t get me wrong: Baking cupcakes did benefit my children – they got to see their mom working hard at a second job to provide for them, they got to see how it helped us meet different people who I could serve and {hopefully} spread the love of Jesus to, they got to experience (and earn money from) the not-so-glamorous work behind setting up and selling cupcakes at vendor fairs, and they got to see how I could use my talents to brighten someone’s day. I am proud to have shown them those things! However, because baking takes so much more time now, I am convicted to use the hours that I am given in a different way. Less cracking eggs and more snuggling. Fewer cupcakes and more toenail painting. Eliminating all-nighters and commencing chick-flick movie nights/sleeping in on Saturday mornings. Fewer cake deliveries and more service projects. Occasionally baking cupcakes for encouragement but not for selling. Savoring every precious moment and pouring my love into these beautiful little girls so it will last their lifetime, even if mine is cut short.
My mission in life is to glorify God. And right now, I know that I need to do this by stepping back from cupcakes and being the best wife I can be for my husband and the best mama I can be for my children. They deserve so much better than I can give them, but with God’s grace, I will serve them, love them, and spur them on to growing in the Lord as much as I can.
Yes, I will miss it. But I miss the way it used to be, not the way it is now. Cancer has taken some of the joy of baking away from me, and it may never be restored. There is a part of me that is still grieving that loss.
But as much as I love baking, it paled in comparison to my First Love. And He is the only real constant – He cannot be changed by marriage or having children or moving or career changes or deadly diseases. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He is the Lover of My Soul, my Rock of Ages. King Jesus is all, my all in all. So although I am letting go of a fun pastime, my heart is fulfilled, my blessings abound, and I delight in Him. I meditate almost daily on this verse from Psalm 116: Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.
I would love to help you get to know Him, so if you are at all interested in learning about how much God loves you and the good that He wants for you, please contact me. Also, I would love to pray for you and with you about any concern you have. God hears!
I’ll let you know if I ever decide to go back into business. Until then, may the Lord show kindness to you as He has to me, and may you choose to use your time, talents, and energy to glorify Him. God bless you!
Love,
Amy
