09/02/2024
I've finally made a decision on what I'm going to do.
It's been a tough 3 years since leaving my career in pharmaceuticals. I got screwed over in a florist partnership with FTD, had to overcome a daily wine habit (not whine!), and finally; slowly and methodically learn to grieve my son.
In the process, I've had to reexamine all my beliefs about parenting and relationships, and construct an entirely new value system because the old one wasn't working.
One of those, and most importantly the one that helped me make a decision on my new space and role in life, was to realize and own the fact that it is MY decisions, choices, sacrifices, and experiences that I wake up with every single day, and that I will live with every single tomorrow.
It's not the right or wrong or the best I can do to help others and benefit humanity that define whether each experience is meaningful and fulfilling. Martyrdom is probably a heroic and fantastical ideal that I am not required to achieve. It's so much more important to love the animals and people right here in my life, and share my joy with those who actually want to share with me.
I experienced pressure from neighbors, friends, and my kids, all very well-meaning, to "use my expertise", continue working without expectation of happiness and fulfillment, and to put money first. It's confusing sorting through all those expectations when your gut tells you something different.
So it was only by throwing off the expectations, and peeling back the layers that go with trying to do the right thing, that what I really need and CAN sustain is exactly what I thought fit me best all along. And once I could see through all the obscuring advice and other people's opinions, it was really easy to take what was a pretty vague idea to start with, and refine it into a tangible plan once I just let go of all the extra stuff that fit other's ideas, but just shrouded mine.
I'm going to go ahead with this little mountain homestead I've got, keep building and growing my mini-farm, and I'm going to combine that with selling my own art, photography, poetry, recipes and natural farm-grown and wild-crafted health, skin, and body care products. I'm also going to blog on mountain homesteading advice and add dropshipping for tools and tricks I've learned to make lots of farm work (like irrigation, digging, composting, growing, etc) easier, cheaper and more affordable. I'm also going to interview our established ranchers and farmers locally to create a useful resource for folks trying to homestead in the mountains. Believe ot or not, there's nothing cohesive and well-rounded out there at all yet!
And as if the universe always intended just that....I registered two .com domains today that were completely available. Mountainhomesteading.com, and Rockymountainhomesteading.com
So....3 yrs of change, and finally a decision. I like it. So do the plants, horses, cats, and Belle. I can be fully me. Just me.
