08/17/2026
Today, I had an exciting and glamorous “first”. We trimmed goat and sheep hooves while the animals were elevated on the milking stand, which saved our backs as I extended their legs over my knee. This was a game changer for my lower vertebrae, which have a habit of going out on me.
However, that’s not the real excitement. We foolishly timed this trim during the beginning of rut season, so they are extra feisty and stinky. 🤪
After we wrestled our first boy into position was when the truly unique event of this evening occurred: for the first and hopefully last time, got the experience of having a large male Alpine goat p**p my pants. As I struggled with Jasper’s back right hoof, he dropped a handful of goat berries down my overalls! 😵💫
Anyway, people who say small farmers just do stuff for the aesthetic are obviously correct. I have never felt more sophisticated. Attached, please find a short clip of the culprit eating a mulberry branch and giving a chicken a ride. **pypants