Goblin Town Cookies & more

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Our Story

** Warning: Due to the sometimes mischievously demented, demonic nature of Goblins we can at times be rude, arrogant and mean, thank you. Therefore we do not recommend this page to children (be a parent and use discretion) oh also if you are disturbed in anyway with whatever is dictated, posted or released then please refrain from this site. You have been warned! OK enough of all that, onward and upward. By now you are probably saying what the Hell is Goblin Town Cookies and why should I even care or want to buy something I'm not sure of. Well it's very simple. We Goblins decided to start baking cookies we like to eat instead of stealing them from you humans. Now for you humans should any be curious, interested or want to pull a prank then we will sell to you and gladly take your miserable money. Goblin cookies are fresh baked to order on hell-fire heated brimstone by food safety certified (well sort of) goblins, in a standard residential home-based underground (of course) kitchen, operating under the Michigan cottage food law. We are not humans nor are perfect in any way, thank you kindly, Snort. Therefore if for whatever reason we bake something the doesn't meet your exact expectations then that's just too bad, live with it-we can because we think it's awesome, life sucks and remember...we are Goblins. This means no refunds. If you bought it or received it as a gift and don't like it then give it to someone else or feed it to the damn dog, at least they might appreciate our efforts. If cute, plain, simple or if you want a whole bunch of the same damn thing is what you are looking for then these cookies aren't ment for you and we recommend you should just leave now before you insult us with your pathetic requests! We do however encourage you to help spread Goblin awareness by supporting this site with "LIKES", "SHARES" and the frequent monetary gratuity, (money) to help us grow from out of this damn basement. ***Just remember we like human money and there maybe items made & displayed that you think you might want but can't afford, keep in mind this BS takes time & we aren't freak-in magical Elves, so don't whine, pawn your damn watch and just buy the damn cookie. Look at it like this if you walked in to a party with one of our unique treats it's guaranteed those humans will show interest and start talking to you and you might make a few new friends, wink wink if you know what i mean. Now as our little business venture grows other items will slowing become available for purchase, such as but not limited to: ** Autographed Pictures ** Coffee/Beer mugs ** Unique cookie cutters you can use at home ** Tee Shirts, etc ..... you get the idea As for flavors keep in mind we are Goblin and not your corner bakery so we like different tastes that tingle your tongue, such as... ** Dark Chocolate/Wasabi ** Vanilla/Rum Spice ** Fiery Hot Cinnamon Stick ** Ginger/Hot Mustard ** Sugar/Ghost Pepper